[deleted]

[ratmist]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiss_love_kill hahaaha good on you girl! damn he must be real slow. never really understood what the whole playing with the top of beer bottles do O.O i guess it can look seductive? apperently pealing the beer bottle sticker shows that your sexually frustrated? like wtf

Well... this is what I did with beer in a glass bottle. I just took the bottle and swigged a quick sip, but then licked the edge once - swiping it - before I put it down. If you're really nasty with it, you can just hold the bottle up to your lips a bit longer, but I only do that now to my husband to drive him crazy in a pub. If you do it right, it looks natural but it's fucking sexy if you have red lips, particularly in a club or bar where the lights are low anyway. If you're drinking a soda or something from a glass, use a straw and it has a similar, but less openly-sexual effect.

I did the swiping-edge thing a few times over the course of a 15 minute chat with him, and before long he reached over and just kissed me. Mission accomplished.

 

[lipstickandhate]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I never get approached except by people I would never date. For women who need a good laugh and want to be approached by many men you are superior to, find a good Irish bar w/real live Irish men. Jesus christ, you'll be fighting them off.

This isnt meant to be offensive- I'm half off-the-boat Irish so please take no offense. Irish men are just amorous and hilarious. Esp after many pints.

 

[user79]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Not as much anymore, but I used to get approached by guys a fair amount. I don't think it was ever anybody I was even remotely attracted to tho.

 

[luvsic]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous Not as much anymore, but I used to get approached by guys a fair amount. I don't think it was ever anybody I was even remotely attracted to tho.

I totally feel you on that part

and ratmist, I agree. Sometimes though, I send off WRONG signals to guys who I am not attracted to, and it's usually unconcious, which sucks because then they think I'm into them and they start...well you know the process. It's unfortunate, because it usually ruins our friendship in teh end.

Blegh.

 

[Raerae]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiss_love_kill never really understood what the whole playing with the top of beer bottles do O.O i guess it can look seductive? apperently pealing the beer bottle sticker shows that your sexually frustrated? like wtf

It's phallic...

 

[Raerae]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvsic You know I figured that. When my friend told me that guys approach girls who think are approachable, I am not so sure if that's the case really. but I Know that some guys tend to shy away from girls who look intimidating because they're scared of rejection marring their huge egos So I don't think smiles & butterflies always do the trick.

I think you have to do your part with helping them out if you want them to approach you though. Smiles and butterflies only go so far. You have to be able to decide if a guy is into you, and then if your into him, make it easier for him to approach you.

I'll use today as an example... I was getting breakfast otw to work, so I stopped for a McMuffin (I give in now and again lol). Two guys were walking through the parking lot towards the road, both of them made eye contact with me as I pulled in. Seeing that the drive-through was packed, I decided to park and walk in. As I parked, one of the guys walked from the sidewalk and over the the door, and waited there. At this point I wasn't even out of my car.

He was cute, had the like, "I play guitarr in a garage band, and like to skateboard" look. With like short spikey hair and a chin goatte, sideburns. You know that look so many CA guys in their early 20's have lol. Anyways, he waited by the door until I got to it, and opened it for me (I love when men do this, especially when they wait forever and a day by the door for you lol). So I smilled at him and said thank you, and walked in.

At this point, is where imho, you have to help them out. It's pretty obvious to me that originally he didn't plan on stopping at McDonalds, considering he was all the way at the sidewalk before he turned around to get the door for me (especially since he only asked for a cup of water after waiting like 5 minutes in a long line, no one does that lol). So chances are, he was inside for a different reason.

Did he approach me? No. But then again, I didn't really help him out. All I did when I was in line, was looking strait ahead and stare at the menu. Not exactly green light signals (ratmist is totally right, you have to let them know there not going to fail, or at least have a good chance, no one likes being rejected). Was he looking at me? For most of the time he was in line. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I had a lot of options to help him out:

1. I could have looked at him, and smiled, and eye-flirted from the other line. The whole look away and smile. For some guys thats enough.

2. I could have walked slowly into the restaraunt and got into line behind him. And eye-flirted from there. Making it easier for him to talk to me, w/out him haveing to go out of the way.

3. I could have changed lines to his, after waiting and eye-flirting, making it fairly obvious I want to talk.

4. Or the most obvious way, I could start some small talk with him. Something as simple as telling him that I appreciated him waiting to get the door for me. That gives him an easy in, since you are already talking to him!

The first three are passive, and have the lowest chance of getting him to approach you imho. Since your waiting for him to make the decision on if the chance of getting rejected is worth approaching you. Wheras number 4 is active, and really takes no commitment on your part. Since your not asking him out, you're just giving him a compliment on something he already did. So you're not putting yourself out for rejection, but you are leaving the door open for him to make his move. I just don't think anyone will be very successful at the dateing game if they are just waiting for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet. You have to fall into his arms =p

 

[PMBG83]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I think you can look approachable and nice but if youre not attractive to them they just wont come up to you. Well they might for other intentions etc., thats why I just dont think a suppossedly "big strong" man is that intimatated by a woman who isnt smiling. Anyway you just cant smile ALL the time. Looking happy and nice makes no difference, some girls always have the "pouty come hither" look and well the guys do come hither lol.

 

[somethingsinful]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I work at a porn store so...yeah I get hit on more times then I can count each day it is on of the "perks" of working there

 

[jenii]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I never get approached. Not even for friendship. I'm the one who has to start the conversation, usually.

It's not all you, it's gotta be partly them too. They might be a bit introverted themselves, so they're reluctant to approach someone.

That's usually the type of person I end up in friendships or relationships with, and they're the types who never make the first move.

So, yeah. Even with friends, we tend to have a "type" we go for more than any others. I guess some of us go for the shy types.

 

[QTAllStarGurl]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

guys talk to me alot but i find it annoying and i normally end up being very mean to them haha...b/c im evil..but no its really b/c weird guys try to do weird stuff to me like i've been places where guys literally just grab my hand out of nowhere nd there all like ay bay bay nd im just like no....let go now ur gross....mayB its b/c i have big boobs haha but its normally unexpected 4 me b/c im short a chubby like a tree stump ...but i dunno guys like me 4 sum reason

 

[Leopardskinny]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I get approached a LOT but I have been told I look confident and friendly. I just like to smile a lot! Also when I wear nice clothes and have my makeup the way I like it, I feel hot! I think it shows by the way you walk into places, how much you smile etc. etc. I can give some tips that might help

1. If your shy, the best thing to do is make eye contact, smile, and then look away. You can repeat this about twice. If he smiles back, then he is prob. interested. It is just a matter of time before he comes over!

2. He might be shy too. Gawd this has happened to me so many times! Best thing to do with shy guys is do #1, but then make all your friends go up to the bar to buy drinks so you are alone. I find that after smiling and stuff it gives them the go ahead.

3. Be friendly! Smiling and laughing really helps. Look like you are having an amazing time (even if you aren't lol). It will make you look like a person he would want to be with.

4. Pretend you are the hottest babe ever. I don't know why but damn this works. I've seen pics of people on here and belive me most of you girls are beutiful anyway so you don't need to try hard! I think it makes you look so confident. Oh, quick note though, make sure your confidance doens't look like snoobish arrogance! I have a mate who looks that way when she feels hot haha!

5. Oh yeah, don't look at the ground, or generally LOOK shy even if you feel it. Hold your head up high at all times! Also, don't smile TOO much otherwise people will think your a psycho! Find the balance people and good luck!

Ps. Sorry if some of this stuff has already been said, I haven't read the thread fully yet! X

 

[lafemmenoir]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Thanks for the pointers you should really consider editorial work.

 

[chocolategoddes]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

i do get approached by guys but not very often. i can be quite shy as well and i def. dont have the balls to go up to a guy, especially if hes HOT. I do also get girls hitting me. I do give of a lesbian vibe I guess, probably because I'm like "one of the guys". hmmmm

 

[ginger9]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Gak, I get approach a lot by married men. Partly due to my profession - mostly married men who are going thru a life crisis. I am so not down with that.

I think I appear unapproachable and intimidating. Not cuz I think I'm gorgeous but I don't smile as much as I should. Also I am actually secretly very shy, I don't act shy but if you asked me to approach a stranger at a bar it's very hard for me to do.

I have a friend (who is now married) but every time we go out men just flock to us. It's not all her because often times the guy is asking for my number. I think it's the chemistry of the two of us together. Now that I think about it, we always get crazy and end up laughing our heads off which is probably why men think we are more approachable.

 

[luvsic]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

leopard skinny, thank you so much for those tips! I will definatley try them out.

To tell you the truth I think I come across as definately cold, a little hostile and definately intimidating. I used to think it was it was because I wasn't pretty enough, but I noticed a lot of girls saying that if you look like a happy, friendly, fun and energetic person then guys are attracted to that too. I think I have to work on being not shy, because I CAN be extremely shy and introverted.

 

[anmackey85]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Quote:

Originally Posted by ndn-ista Hahaha...yes I used to get approached a lot more in my younger, thinner days. I've always been the one that got approached first within my girls etc, of course I never took it to my head (at least I hope I never did!) But now, I am like fuck it, Im going to wear that top that is slightly tight and shows some of my rolls....whateva! lol...a few of my guys friends have told me...."so your not that bad once I got to know you." I also think that its because I don't really pay any mind to other people, and just think in my own world, don't really smile and try to make causal eye contact, unless I am spoken to. I have been told that I give up that bitchy, intimidating vibe. Plus, thats just me with my guard up. If the guy actually took the time to get to know me, he will know the real deal. I think it has a lot to do of being constantly hurt by guys being interseted in me and then I get hurt cause they end up being assholes. Plus, me ex that which was my first love, used to tell me that he doesn't find me attractive in his eyes and this and that. So now, I am like eh whateva, I don't need to try, if the guy really really wants to talk to me, he will make the move. Not such a optimistic way of thinking, but it works for me!

I am the exact same way when I don't know people I don't really open up. And by some stroke of luck a guy does try to talk to me I never recognize it until one of my friends point it out. I'm chubby too but I think I'm pretty cute

but its never my first thought that they're actually interested, and I've missed out on some foine men because of this

Damn

 

[milamonster]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

this ismy problem lol. i started wondeirng if i was intimidating because guys never approach me. well I'll say decent guys lol; When I rarely get someone it's like some old ass middle aged man or osmetihng. But just this weekend i had a guy come up to me but AFTER my cuzzin told them to come over. And also, on NYE when the dude was talkng to me it was only because i had to kind of make them since the y loooked like they anted to i just helped them lol.
But overall, no guy s do not approach me or hit on me at all.
and i HAVE been working with the smiling thing but when I'm there with people conversing im usually smiling and laughing my ass off lol

 

[jazza]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I never make a move on anyone, I'm quite reserved. I'll approach people to talk to them, but for nothing more. I have quite a business attitude when I approach people and it's usually for a reason.

I suppose I do get approached by men, but to be honest, it's unwanted attention. Often the men who approach me are slightly odd or weird in some way. I'm often approached by people in general for help, or for odd reasons, and it's a running joke with my friends (none of us can fathom why I get strange attention from strange people).
My boyfriend gets irked by random losers hitting on me in front of him and he now knows (from experience) that loonies approach me and like to talk to me.
Also, it would be fair to note I've been stalked by 3 men, one of whom attempted to rape me, so yes I do attract BAD attention. I don't exaggerate when I say I am approached by nutcases.

 

[pumpkincat210]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

Not been "approached" too much since i was in my teens. I've had people look at me, but i'm mostly oblivious to it unless someone tells me later. Now I'm married and have a wedding ring which helps, since its very awkward to me when a guy walks up to you. I've actually had a couple of girls hit on me recently to my astonishment. It also depends on where you go. If you go to alot of bars and clubs expect to be approached.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Re: Getting approached by guys??

I used to get approached. I havent been approached by a guy in a very long time.

Oh well i guess.