Re: Getting approached by guys??
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsic
Just a quick question for you guys/ladies - how often do you get approached by members of the opposite (or same) sex (to be your friend, them showing interest in you, hitting on you, etc..)
For every single boy I've been friends with or attracted to, I've always had to be the one to make the move to talk (if I'm even feeling brave enough! Usually I am a very shy person.) Nobody ever comes up to me to introduce themselves and start talking. And my last (I don't even know if I would count him as one..) boyfriend, I totally went after him and worked hard until I got him. Heck, most of the GUY friends I have now are due to me introducing myself, going through the whole friendly process, etc.
I don't know why this is, and for a while it didn't bother me that much, but it just makes me wonder...why? Am I intimidating or something? It doesn't make me feel bad about myself per se, it just makes me kind of curious as to why this happens 
Words of wisdom/experience/opinions welcome.
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This is quite a late reply...so im not sure the thread starter will even read this but hey...
Me and my girlfriends were talking about the amount of guys we get approached by, not so long ago because it had become quite the issue whenever we went out, especially in a friday/saturday night. It would "interrupt" our girls nights out, and the blame was always placed on me unfortuntely. See, out of my gfs I happen to be the one to get approached by the most guys. All have been under the category of trying to pick me up/buy me drink/ basically to get to know you type. I was never accustomed to this kind of attention for a long time till I started taking care of myself. I started to "play" with this new found attention only to have more realisations. One of them is that its not just about looks. The girlfriends that I am always with, are honestly, without bias, stunning/natural beauties, so compared to them, I would say Im the least attractive. So how is it possible that Im approached more than them? ( im a conservative dresser) Its because it was in the way or manner I held myself. Body language, letting yourself walk to places alone, i.e. going to the toilet, puttting something in the rubbish bin etc - not always hand in hand with 2335903 girlfriends. It also has alot to do with confidence i.e. walking into a room, and looking straight into people's eyes. Alot of guys would mention that, when they saw me look straight into their eyes, is what sparked them to come approach me. They
love confidence. Ironically, I might sound and seem like the very confident type, but in actual fact Im just good at pretending that I am. Seeing as I have lived both worlds, honestly, confidence makes such a profound difference.
Also another thing that Ive come to realise and experience is that with guys, is that they are less inclined to be friends with you (a girl) if a) they dont find you attractive b) you dont have attractive friends c) your not some possible use for them i.e. homework help etc. Girls I think have a more genuine interest in each other to be friends, because clearly there isnt any intent to get in our pants
. I have guy friends, but are all in different categories . The guys that have interest in me and that use the "friendship" card to get to know me, i feel and see their intent - but seeing as I how I regard them is something I can control, I dont hold them at a very close level unless theyve really proved themselves they arent what they have made themselves out to be. I have probably one or two very close male friends, but I try not to be too close with them, seeing as the quote "guys and girls can never be friends" rings alarmingly true every time.
Something that I keep picking up just reading here and there, is that you can never "convince" a guy to like/have interest in you, if they just do not have that intial interest first. So to save myself some time and probably the heartache of unrequited love, I dont go after guys. However if theres someone that I have an intial interest for, I subtly give them a single "test" to see if any interest waivers. But if there is no interest, I leave it be, and let it slide. However, if a guy has interest in me, and decides to court me, I let them, IF i have any form of interest but if i dont, i dont. Simple as that. Ive learnt the hard way for a long time, and I would say that has probably been the best thing Ive learnt...
