Long Distance Relationship Support Thread

[terramishu]

Well Alibi, I was very interested in you

And I'm noseeyyy so I wanted to know your background lol.

Yeah I rarely see people get hooked up by shooter games! Mine was a MMORPG game. Everytime I think of this it makes me feel so silly

When they said that I had to "fake" our marriage and to pretend being his gf all I thought was "..oh". I mind and didn't mind at the same time, I had this weird feeling. But at least I got to be with him so it doesn't really matter what other people think of through their eyes. As long we're happily in love it's all good, right?

To be honest I still think at times what does his relatives think of me as. They prolly think I'm just a b*tch smooching off his family lol... *sigh* His anti-social aunt that nobody likes keeps on asking my hubby's bro "What's that woman doing here? When will she leave? Why is still she here? What is she doing here?" When she sees me she neeeever looks at me. For many many times I said hello, smiled at her and all but all she does it ignores me. My bro-in-law says that she ignores all non-family members... Hmm

Everyone else in the family is normal though.
But hey, at least your bf's family made you feel comfortable at home!!! I long for those days lol. I always feel like I'm some random stranger living with them, even though the family is nice.

We were together for... 2 years I think before moving in with him.
If he lived in my area, I would never move him with him though if we weren't married. I guess I'm a bit old-fashioned in that way. I don't feel safe lol... I mean what's going to happen when we get into a HUGE fight?! I don't wanna kick him out/get kicked out

When you're married it's a lil safer, at least by law the hubby/wifey has to be responsible for each other if they ever divorce haha! "I want your house! It's under my name too!"

I used to talk everyday on the webcam with him too and I've always felt silly haha, pretending the webcam is the guy. I kissed it too

haha!!! He asked his father to buy a long-distance phone package to to be able to call me everyday

We talk to each other to sleep lol...

No need to thank me! I'm just sharing my story for all those who have shared theirs, and it's a form of encouragement for all ya ladies! Don't give up if you really love him~ There will be always a way to be together, it's just a matter of commitment.

Whoo long post, again.

 

[fintia]

I did the long distance thing and it was hard but doable.. I lived in Puerto Rico and my hubby, boyfriend at the time.. He lived in South Florida.. so we kept visiting each other and after 2 years of relationship we decided to get married and I moved to SF.. So far so good.. this month is our 6th anniversary!!!

So if you guys love each other you can make it work!

 

[User93]

Girls, exactly like Terramishu said - thanks for sharing. Such stories keep you going even when you feel really bad.

Well Terramishu, I understand so good about the family! You say my bf's family welcomed me, well, they did, but I went there just for 17 days. I have no idea how would they react to me just living there with him and his family. I understand what you say about not feeling safe. I was going for this 17 days trip only but was thinking.. "what if he fights with me? I will have nowhere to go. I will just sit there in his house, under his roof, following his rules..." I was very worried. My bf said that time:"Cmon, don't worry - you don't know my Mom. if we fight or I offend you she will kick ME out, not you"

But I know that feeling, when you just sit there thinking what is his family thinking of you, if they like you.

Faking being just girlfriend or in my case friend for some relatives... You know, i don't like it much of course, but I can honestly understand. And like you said.. whatever it takes to be together! At least you get on well with his Mom and people you live in the same house with, who cares that much about a weird aunt anyways?

Another thing I wanted to ask you - if you can tell, how did your family take all that? Do they like him? And obviously, how did they take you moving to him?

Webcam is my bf too

...............you know right!

MMORPG is a little bit more common way to meet in an online game lol. Meeting in a shooter was strange, but that's how I got my awesome man. He helped me out with everything there, we were friends, always playing in the same team, then just always talking... and fell in love!

You know, you mentioned that your hubby is the person who needed hugs and touches and who was getting very depressed... Well, that's me. My bf seems ok, well, he says that's how we decided to live, so he just takes it until something can be made. And I feel so depressed

Sometimes I'm just in front of cam and cant stop crying, or say something - I just miss him so much

I always worry, always jealous him, always wonder what is he thinking and if I'm good and enough for him

Fintia - wow girl, congrats on anniversary! Ladies you are awesome, thank you for sharing so much!

 

[Blushbaby]

My baby flew back to NY on Wed after coming to see me. I feel so down in the dumps now that he's gone.

Not even the MAC and other beauty goodies he bought me can make me smile.

Arrrrrrrrrgh this LDR shit is doing my head in!!

 

[User93]

Hang on there Blushbaby! I totally understand, after my man left last summer after seeing me there I was so sad and feeling down

Think about the future and how good it gonna be!

 

[LadyMakeup1]

oh wow this is so interesting. I can share a lot of things with you girls.

My boyfriend and I met in high school (we have been together for 3 years) and after that, when was time for us to pick a university to start a carer he decided that he was going to travel to USA to study (we both are from South America) This was so hard for me because I loved this guy so much and he was my first love, but I understood and I encourage him to do it because this was going to be something really good for him, after that, when he was gone, I discovered that he kissed a girl after leaving (a supposed to be friend of mine) and I was devastated, I felt so stupid because when I was encouraging him and helping him with the luggage and things like that he was kissing someone on my back... anyway, he denied this and after that I just couldn't resist this anymore and we broke up.

4 years passed and I went to Italy to learn the lenguage and see my roots because my family is part Italian, and one day (I don't remember why, or how) he and I started to speak again, he talked to me very honest and told me he never could forget me and that I have always been the love of his life, and I really noticed his sincerity and his change, he was talking me from his heart, he was grown up and mature enough but what really surprised me was that one day he came to Italy!!!!!!! can you believe that? he came to see me!!! we spent the most romantic and wonderful 2 weeks ever!!!

We decided to give this relationship a try, 3 years passed and we struggled with the distances because after Italy I went back to my country, and he went to US, so one day when I was visiting him in USA we decided to get married, and now we are happily married and we feel completely and irremediably in love of each other(we have been married for 5 years)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

So, the conclusion of this is my lovely ladies, is that no matter how many things happen in life, if you guys really love each other, there are no people, no adversities, no oceans that can keep you appart. and sometimes errors make us appreciate the wonderful things we have at our side.

Hang inthere guys, have PATIENCE!!!! write a lot of love letters to your boyfriends, try to talk a lot by phone and give attention and honesty to the relationship, this is the best advice I can give you. I know what you are feeling, is hard, I know, but I am the living proof that when you really love someone there are no obstacles in life!!! ♥

 

[User93]

Thank you Lady! Thats a very encouraging story! Where exactly in South America are you guys from?

 

[preciouscharm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyMakeup1 So, the conclusion of this is my lovely ladies, is that no matter how many things happen in life, if you guys really love each other, there are no people, no adversities, no oceans that can keep you appart. and sometimes errors make us appreciate the wonderful things we have at our side. Hang inthere guys, have PATIENCE!!!! write a lot of love letters to your boyfriends, try to talk a lot by phone and give attention and honesty to the relationship, this is the best advice I can give you. I know what you are feeling, is hard, I know, but I am the living proof that when you really love someone there are no obstacles in life!!! ♥

I AGREE! At this point in time I have no doubts that we can make it through this. Overall I think it really has made me into a better person; I've learned to trust, love, and be independent all at the same time. It really puts the relationship in perspective and forces us to appreciate the time we have together.

Ps - I need ideas for a care package to send to my babes. He's in kuwait right now and is forced to stay another two months. It's hard enough for us being apart but It hurts so much to see him depressed over there, he hates it. I need to cheer him up!

 

[User93]

Precious, I suggest writing him a letter and add to the package. Because no matter if he has acsess to internet or no, it's really sweet to recieve something handwritten. Maybe you can also print some photos of you guys and put it there aswell. Send him something that would remind him of home, some t-shirt maybe? Idk how US shipping policy is, but maybe you can send his favorite sweets?

(after thinking for a while)
Send him your panties

- didn't hear it from me

 

[sweetbabyblue]

My bf came to visit me last weekend, he arrived late friday afternoon and left early sunday morning.
I miss him so much again!

 

[bellagloss]

First of all its really good to know that you are not the only one(of course i know that a lot of people are in LDR but i dont know anyone in person,so my friends and my family dont understand)..
All in all im really happy and thats surprising cause i never thought i could do it.Im with my bf for 15months now, but 9months apart.

my only problem is that our relationship changed during that time IMO and i just feel weird about it.i have absolutly no one to talk to,never had the whole time,so im always stuck with my worries..mainlly what changed is the way we talk...in the beginning he wrote emails telling me that he loves me and misses me,and when he couldnt be online at night,he let me know...now he doesnt,when he isnt online,thats it,he even goes on trips without saying anyhting before...the first months when we were apart,he let me know that he wanted me too,and we talked about sexual things as well,but after 3months he stopped,i started to worry that he lost interest in me and maybe has somehting going on....the last thing is that we always talked on the phone on a regular base,he wanted to talk to me and hear me,but suddently he stopped asking for it and whenever i ask him about it,he doesnt reply,he talks about somehting else,im really confused and i dunno if it means somehting bad

there are only 11 weeks left but i cannot be happy about it because i dunno if its still the same,it would be dissapointing if it doesnt work out so close to the end but i rather know now than to be in the situation that i get there and he doesnt want me amnymore..

i know this is a really long read,but if anyone has any kind of advice i would appricate that,just to talk to someone helps but there is no onw arround

thanks

 

[mmancuso]

Morning Ladies!
My hubby and I were long distance at the beginning of our relationship too. It was so difficult to say goodbye after a perfect weekend together but being apart actually ended up being a huge blessing! I have a tendancy to go from being a completely independent and highly social woman to a co-dependent one at the beginning of "new beau" situations. So the fact that he lived in Boston and I lived in NYC actually forced us to slow things down a bit and allowed us both to do our thing and just build up the anticipation for the next time we'd meet. I actually think romance was easier then! Now we sort of get in the rut of spending "time" together but it usually isn't intentional (like a spicy date) so we tend to aggravate each other a little arguing over something like who gets the comfy spot on the sofa

I say, Enjoy your long distance hunny while you can!! Get creative and relish in the romance!
Fun post!

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

LDR can work if both people are on the same page.

Me and my ex bf went out for over a year before he transferred to another school which was over 300 miles away from my school. At first, I was really afraid that we would break up because of the distance but he kept assuring me that it'll be okay since my parents house is only about 10 minutes from his school so whenever I'd visit my parents, I could visit him. So the summer before the transfer was fun and we hung out all the time. Then as the school year approached, it seemed different. He would stop reassuring me and calling me all the time and he would always "misplace" his phone. This went on for about a month before I got really pissed and confronted him about it. He was saying "oh i'm at a new school, i'm just trying to meet new friends and get used to it blahblah i still love u etc." but I was getting kind of sick of him never being there for me. No, I wasn't asking him to be there to pick up every one of my phone calls but returning my calls within a few days time frame would be nice. He then joined a fraternity and spent most of his time pledging and hanging out with his new brothers. So apparently frats have these exchanges with sororities where they get to know each other. I trusted him because he never really gave me a reason to distrust him. So one day, I go to visit my parents and I hang out with him a bit. He seemed very distant and as if something was bothering him. After eating dinner with him, he calls me and breaks up with me over the phone when my parents' house was minutes away! Seriously, he is a coward. I know maybe he thought that seeing me wasn't the best thing to do, but I know him, he just wanted to save face and not see me cry because he knew that if I cried, he might give in and not go through with the break up. So I cried and pleaded. I was so hurt like I've never been hurt before. I seriously cried everytime I thought of him. A few days passed by and then I find out from a trusted source that he cheated on me with a girl from a sorority that his frat was having an exchange with. I don't know want to share the details of the affair but I know it was definitely bad. He did those things a day or two before he broke up with me. However, the excuse for the break up was "you're a great girl, it's not u, it's me, i need to "find" myself. I'm at a new place, I want to meet new people." It was all bullshit. I found out later on that he tried to get with the girl from the sorority but she turned him down. She only probably did shit with him because they were both drunk. It still hurts me when I think about what happened because I poured my heart and soul into the relationship. He threw it apart himself. A bit after the breakup I started dating my current bf and when my ex bf found out, he was so pissed. At one point, I was scared for my life. I thought he was gonna hunt me down and kidnap me or something. I even thought that he might hurt my current bf. My ex also started to send me hate messages saying I'm a horrible person and I'm so ugly inside. It's been over a year since the break up happened and we are on "okay" terms but I know we'll never be friends again. Only acquaintences and that's perfectly fine with me.

Sorry for the long post! I just wanted to share it with the world once and for all. Moral of the story: be careful because people can assure you but they may have ulterior motives.

 

[Moofy]

Hello all! My boyfriend and I have been together almost three years and we've been 'long distance' (but the term itself really bothers me... I don't know why

) the whole time. We're very much on the same page about everything which I think is the key to making it work. When I was in high school he would drive down to my house every other weekend (it's about a 5 hr drive give or take) and over the holidays I would fly up to where he lives (I couldn't and still can't drive!)

Now I live in London which is closer but more often he comes to my parents house to visit me instead because it's an easier drive, albeit a longer one. He was just here for six days and left this morning, eep!

It's not ideal but it's worth it! We have a lot of time to ourselves over the summers too, which is nice. My parents travel a lot and often leave us to house-sit for as much as a month at a time, which is heaven!

Due to some unfortunate circumstances I have a feeling we'll still be in this situation until I graduate university, but it's worth it. He's the world!

This thread is really uplifting, best of love to all of you!

 

[ShangHaii]

Well, my bf is now my ex. We just couldn't make it. I think the last month was the most horrible. we were drifting, and i felt that i liked him as a friend only. so i ended it.

worst part/best part is, i recently met someone new. Someone that lives close by. i feel like a horrible person =.=

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

my 1+ year long relationship is about to turn into a long distance relationship in about a month. can't afford to stay in so cal without a job and my mom is forcing me to go home. i swear i wish i had more understanding parents. sigh.

 

[User93]

Oh girl

How far away are you going? What does your bf say? It will be ok

 

[lustrare]

I'm dealing with an older guy who has way too many girls that want him. He's coming to visit soon, but his sister is going to invite one of those girls so that means if we hang out, she's going to have to be there. She doesn't know about me because I'm kind of his little secret. What a way to ruin a visit.

EDIT LIKE JUST 4 HOURS LATER..

Nevermind, he lied. He's not interested and just played me. I'm kind of at a fork in the road though since we're really close friends. He doesn't want to lose me as a friend but I don't think I can do that. My heart is aching. Wow I feel pathetic.

 

[xNatalieNoelle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi Ooooh ladies I'm so excited too! Here I am with my story. Ok, call me a geek but me and mty bf met through internet. Not only through internet, but through an online game. Online shooter game. I'm super girly So well, we were just talking a lot, every day for hours and hours, we became really good friends, I';ve never met a person like him. And then after 2,5 months like that he told me he loves me and I told him back. It was really tough though, because I knew I love him so much and he loves me, but we are so far away. I'm in Russia and he is in Brasil. We just went on hanging together, we simply couldnt leave it. We were saying that it is hard, we gotta break up, but well, couldnt. Then in about 5 months he came to me and said that he happened to kiss a girl from his group on a party. Long story short, this affair kinda lasted 3 days. It was so fucked up , we broke up, I was nowhere. He was saying that just hapened, that he is really sorry, we were crying so bad. I took him back, because we are so far away, and yet he could easily go out with her but he chose me, who he never saw, and came honest to me. That was a tough decision for me. So since then, he said that this "you-shouldnt-be-attached-to-me-relationship" is too difficult, and we gotta start planing future. This summer he took 3 planes and came here to be with me. Let me just tell it was awesome! Except this though...http://specktra.net/f262/how-do-your...usband-110618/ And you know, I think a distance makes relationship stronger, if the feelings are real. He could date anY bitch girl there, yet he spent all that money and came to me. I love him so much. He is the best person I've ever met. We are together for 1 year and a half. People would say its crazy, but I feel so awesome with him. He is the best ever for me. We try to make plans and work it out somehow. We are in college both, so gotta graduate first. But well, this winter I wanna go see him soooo much! I'm so happy with this thread. I dont like talking with my friends here about LDR, because when people haven't experienced it, they really cant understand much and will just be bored. I'm so glad that here we can chat, ask for advice and help, share stories! Offtopic: I know, right? I nearly sh!*ed myself when I saw it I'm laughing at it myself when I see my posts haha.

So we're kinda in the same boat here. I met my boyfriend on an online game last year and we've been dating for 14 months. We haven't met yet because at first, my parents didn't know..and because of that, seeing him last summer was impossible. And now that my parents know,they wouldn't mind me seeing him but neither of us has the money to do it! It's so horrible because we're both dying to see each other. I've never met someone like him before...(just my luck that I finally meet someone like that and he lives 8 hours away!!!

) The good news is he's going to apply to the college im in over here in NJ so hopefully that works out! Of course I hope to see him this summer but I'm working full time and im going out of the country to visit my grandparents for almost a month.

Well there's my story haha. Best of luck to all you LDR couples! I know you all know how difficult it is to make a long distance relationship work. As long as you both want it bad enough, anything is possible

~Natalie
YouTube - xNatalieNoelle's Channel

 

[Kayteuk]

Well just as a update girlie's, I am currently in the K1 visa process for the USA. Its a freaking minefield. And its the longest, most expensive visa ever. I am just ready to be done with it but oh no... I still have another 9-10 months to wait. And I have been doing this since Dec 08.

I also am now having trouble transferring my university, A levels, and everything over... And the fiancee isn't much help since he cant remember anything I ever tell him regarding my education!