There are some places your children just should NOT be...

[sewpunk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer It's really wrong, IMO, to fault a child for being a child. That said, it's incumbent upon the parents of the children to make sure that their (the children's) behaviour is appropriate for the situation at hand.

Well said.

It shitty that nowadays too many parents are too blinded by love (or guilty) to realize how horribly misbehavied there kids truly are.

Kudos to parents who don't have the wool pulled over there eyes and understand other peoples feelings. (I have to tell my SIL and MIL to NOT talk about baby poop at the dinner table, but that's another topic!)

I love kids (don't really want any), but dislike most parents!

 

[MeganGMcD]

Yes my child threw a tantrum in target today. Why? Well she was LEARNING that every day is not Barbie buying day...So yes sometimes a screaming child in Target and a Supermarket is being taught a lesson that the whole world does not revolve around their desires.
So, like..sorry me in all my stupid breeder-ness cannot make anyone happy. I have take her to the store because I am doing it all on my own without " dumping my kid" off on someone and she cries because I am trying to teach her not to be a horrible " MY NEEDS! MINNNNEE" monster and I suck...

So I should keep her at home, or I should give her the barbie whenever she wants to keep her quiet and them I am a *ding ding ding* HORRIBLE STUPID HATEFUL PARENT.

Can't win can you?

 

[Shimmer]

I think it's about balance, as I've said before.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

So, like..sorry me in all my stupid breeder-ness cannot make anyone happy. I have take her to the store because I am doing it all on my own without " dumping my kid" off on someone and she cries because I am trying to teach her not to be a horrible " MY NEEDS! MINNNNEE" monster and I suck...

I don't know you or your parenting style or you at all, so I cannot call you a breeder or not. I think the term is perfectly valid for some people but not all.

With that said, as long you disciplined your child properly (which what I and I believe everyone here thinks), you're doing a good job at being a parent. I've seen far too many parents in stores do the following: give in, bargain (like "I won't buy you this, but when we get home, I'll give you some cookies."), or apologize.) Very rarely do I see parents take firm control of the situation and tell their kids what's what. I reiterate: you can't control every action of your child, but you can control what you do and how you handle when things go awry.

Example of good parenting tonight: I had dinner out. There was a family of 3 with a small child. The child began banging the silverware on the table LOUDLY. The restaurant was fairly packed and noisy and yet you could still hear the banging of the silverware. The father took the silverware away from the child and said something. The kid began to cry. The father (not sure what he said) scolded the child and the kid stopped. This took all of 5 min., maybe less. I have no problem with parents who are considerate of those around them and do something about their children.

Example of bad parenting: My brother has two children. His daughter, about 6 at the time, lies and tells them that their cat is missing. The cat is an honored family pet and is completely indoors, so he has no outdoor cat skills. The family goes out on this huge search for it. Everyone is freaked out. The little girl lied. The parents do nothing about it. No scolding, no punishments, nothing.

You have no need to be offended, as long as you are being a parent. No one here is against people having children, as long as they're well cared for.

 

[luckyme]

I love this thread. I also do not have patience for ill mannered children. I have a child, well teenager, and I always made sure that he was on his best behavior when he was little and we were in public or there would be consequences. Because he was aware of that, he was generally never a problem.

People, please discipline your children. I cant tell you how may times I have seen kids curse at there parents and say you cant tell me what to do. These disobedient children are your little angels, not mine, I dont want to hear them screaming at the top of there lungs at a restuarant cause you wont let them have ice cream for dinner.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckyme I love this thread. I also do not have patience for ill mannered children. I have a child, well teenager, and I always made sure that he was on his best behavior when he was little and we were in public or there would be consequences. Because he was aware of that, he was generally never a problem. People, please discipline your children. I cant tell you how may times I have seen kids curse at there parents and say you cant tell me what to do. These disobedient children are your little angels, not mine, I dont want to hear them screaming at the top of there lungs at a restuarant cause you wont let them have ice cream for dinner.

Yesterday, at vons.. (a grocery store for those who dont know what a vons is) a bratty little girl was walking around with her grandma, wanting EVERYTHING.. the girl was pudgy and wanted junk food. her grandma kept saying no and the girl would be like "YOUR SO STUPID GRANDMA!!"

I WOULD NEVER....EVER....EVER TALK TO MY GRANDMOTHER THAT WAY!!!!!!

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer I'm sorry, I disagree. It's not about leaving the kids at home, it's about teaching them how to behave.

Yup, I totally agree with you on this one! If you raise your kid(s) right and teach them right from wrong then you wouldn't have a problem taking them anywhere. I mean for places like the bar, movies, upscale restuarants, class (depending on the age) you shouldn't take your kids to for obvious reason but what is the problem with taking them to the MAC counter or shopping with you? You know how your kids act in certain situations and if you know they'll behave then what's the problem...there is no problem!! My daughter is a well behaved little girl so she deserves to go anywhere I want to take her!!

If you never take your kids anywhere then they'll never learn how to act in public. Taking them out and showing them how to beave in public will help them learn to adjust in certain situations!

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by queenofdisaster I agree COMPLETELY. My daughter is very well-behaved. She isn't even 2 yet and she knows when to sit still, when to be quiet, and when not to touch things. I could take my daughter to any and all of the above-mentioned places (of course NOT the adult bookstore ) and she's fine. It's not the children who are just naturally bratty, it's the parents that make them that way!!!

Exactly, why should some kids have to pay the price for "bad" kids who don't know how to act in public? Kids act the way they do because parents have them that way. My daughter is also not even 2 yet and when were out people are amazed on how good of a girl she is! I'm not going to make her stay home just because some other kids don't know how to act!

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckyme I love this thread. I also do not have patience for ill mannered children. I have a child, well teenager, and I always made sure that he was on his best behavior when he was little and we were in public or there would be consequences. Because he was aware of that, he was generally never a problem. People, please discipline your children. I cant tell you how may times I have seen kids curse at there parents and say you cant tell me what to do. These disobedient children are your little angels, not mine, I dont want to hear them screaming at the top of there lungs at a restuarant cause you wont let them have ice cream for dinner.

I agree with this as well. Kids act the way they do because the parents have them that way and let them get away with whatever they want. That's the reason why the act up in public...because parents have them that way at home. All be damned if my kids ever talk to me that way!!

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

At Applebee's last night, there was a bunch of guys at the bar, and one of them brought his little son, who must have been 3 or 4 maybe. While they were so busy watching the game, the child had bumped into a waiter, causing him to spill a plate of food, then he went into the women's bathroom, I'm not sure what he did in there, but a lady in there felt it was rude that he wasn't being properly supervised, and brought him back out and told him to go find his parents and stay with them. He walked back for as long as she was watching him, then turned around and found more shit to get into.
He then climbed OVER a booth, and started to unwrap the silverware and demolish the napkins. Then he climbed back OVER the booth, and headed for the exit to the restaurant, which enters the mall. The hostess noticed and I guess they have a policy where they aren't allowed to grab anyone's child unless they're in immediate danger or something. So she went to the bar where, still, the father is oblivious, she tells him, and he gets mad at the child for leaving. And as i'm watching I'm just like What the fuck is your problem, you should be spanking yourself, not the boy. If he'd been watching him, it wouldn't have happened and the entire restaurant wouldn't have been irritated with him.
So in that case, the parent is to blame. And I see it all the time, but it especially annoys me when it's somewhere a child shouldn't even be. But not Applebee's, which is child-friendly. But like, Mr. A's restaurant/lounge here in SoCal...where it's like 80 dollars for a salad and you can't come in wearing Jeans, Open Toed Shoes, T-Shirts, Tennis Shoes etc (strictly enforced, i've seen people turned away). I saw a lady with toddler twins in there, screaming up a storm. Not the right place to be.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Pixie04 At Applebee's last night, there was a bunch of guys at the bar, and one of them brought his little son, who must have been 3 or 4 maybe. While they were so busy watching the game, the child had bumped into a waiter, causing him to spill a plate of food, then he went into the women's bathroom, I'm not sure what he did in there, but a lady in there felt it was rude that he wasn't being properly supervised, and brought him back out and told him to go find his parents and stay with them. He walked back for as long as she was watching him, then turned around and found more shit to get into. He then climbed OVER a booth, and started to unwrap the silverware and demolish the napkins. Then he climbed back OVER the booth, and headed for the exit to the restaurant, which enters the mall. The hostess noticed and I guess they have a policy where they aren't allowed to grab anyone's child unless they're in immediate danger or something. So she went to the bar where, still, the father is oblivious, she tells him, and he gets mad at the child for leaving. And as i'm watching I'm just like What the fuck is your problem, you should be spanking yourself, not the boy. If he'd been watching him, it wouldn't have happened and the entire restaurant wouldn't have been irritated with him. So in that case, the parent is to blame. And I see it all the time, but it especially annoys me when it's somewhere a child shouldn't even be. But not Applebee's, which is child-friendly. But like, Mr. A's restaurant/lounge here in SoCal...where it's like 80 dollars for a salad and you can't come in wearing Jeans, Open Toed Shoes, T-Shirts, Tennis Shoes etc (strictly enforced, i've seen people turned away). I saw a lady with toddler twins in there, screaming up a storm. Not the right place to be.

Oh hell no...it's just to bad that some people are parents that souldn't of even had kids in the first place! Someone should of called CPS on his ass!!

 

[Uchina]

I waitressed all summer, and the worst thing about my job (besides racist patrons) was the shrieking toddlers.

 

[RussianSexpot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by d_flawless no offense but leave your kid @ home when you shop, unless you're shopping only for them, or you're @ the grocery store. i can't tell you how fucking annoying it is when people come in and want a make up demo and they have their kid with them, screaming and drooling and then i have to clean up after them. straight up, i will be rude to you because you're being rude to me, and when you leave, rest assured we will all talk shit about how dumb that was. unless if your kid's an angel, i don't want to deal with them.

That's understandable on some level, but you also have to remember too that alot of mothers don't HAVE that option. I have a 3 year old and a month and a half old, and I don't have any friends or anybody to watch them if I wanted to go shopping (and there have been many times where I had to bring them). If I was trying to enjoy myself, I would hope that any kind of SA, whether it be at Wal-mart or Saks would take that into consideration. I don't expect a SA to watch my child, and I don't ask them too, but take it easy on us moms, we don't always have it so easy : D

- Michelle

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RussianSexpot If I was trying to enjoy myself, I would hope that any kind of SA, whether it be at Wal-mart or Saks would take that into consideration.

Not to be a bitch or anything... But I dont think your enjoyment should come before making sure your kids are kept in line. If your kids throwing a fit and you can't control it, take them home. Or out to your car, or somewhere private (lots of malls have mommy sections in the womens restrooms, least in california they do).

If dragging your dragging your kid along to a place where you know they are going to be bored and cause problems (since it's probably happened in the past), dont go. Be respectful to everyone else, and find a sitter.

I dont think anyone here has anything against well behaved children. And if your kids fall into that catagory, I give you lots of hugs for being a responsible mother.

Also:

Whats with all the moms saying they have no one but themselves to raise their kids. My Mom was a single Mom for several years, I was like almost 10 before my stepdad moved into my life fulltime. But she had a network of other single moms, or moms with kids she could depend on to watch me during the afternoon so she could do chores when I was really little. They all helped each other out, dropping off children during the day when it was needed. How is it that you dont know any other Moms with kids the same age as yours?

Daycare was easy for me when I was little... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! I'll be at Deanna's house ok (or any of my other friends)? My Mom would be on the phone with Deanna's mom, and find out ifit was ok if I stayed there for X amount of time. Usually it was fine since my Mom would return the favor another day. And my Mom would have the freetime she needed to do stuff in the afternoon.

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae How is it that you dont know any other Moms with kids the same age as yours?.

i find that statement a little odd, everyones situation is completely different- some people may not be able to afford a sitter nor find friends to babysit because of hmm jobs maybe. everyone grows up and has familys at different ages so friends with kids the same age may be hard to come by.

 

[Raerae]

The parents of your childrens friends can be a part of your social network. While i doubt the infant has any friends, the 3 year old should have some I would think...

Didn't you go to preschool?

Moms just need to network with who their children are spending time with. You can create your own daycare to help each other out if money is tight and you can't offord a sitter. They can watch your kids one day, while you watch theirs another.

 

[Shimmer]

RaeRae, the idea of networking with each other is a foreign concept to many mothers today.
It's simply not safe anymore.

 

[Raerae]

Do you really think things are "that" much different now than they were before?

Maybe I'm being stupid, but I really "hope" that the perception that things are going downhill is just that, perception. Based on the fact that people are more willing to talk about it nowdays, than before.

I mean if you watch Nancy grace, Law and Order: SVU, and other crime drama's you'd think every man is a pedo/rapist. But are any more children/women going missing today then in the past? Or we we just talking about the incidents more openly, and catching more, "funny uncles" so to speak. Not to mention as avenue's of communication get broader, your going to open more ways for people to contact each other, so it's only natural i'd thing for things to change.

Just like the whole argument that the divorce rate is higher now than it was in the past. Statistically yes, divorce is probably higher. But how many couples wanted to get a divorce back 30-40 years go (or before) but didn't because of the stigma about it. Seperate beds anyone? You can't tell me thats a happy relationship. I was talking about this with my Mom, and her Aunt got a divorce and it was this big huge deal in the family and in their church (since at the time my fam was very religious). Granted her husband used to beat her, but I guess she was supposed to deal with that and be a good wife.

Just like I really dont think kids are having sex at an earlier age. Go back farther than 50 years, and people were getting married in their teens. "Till death do us part" didn't mean 75-80 years back then. No wonder divorce rate is up.

Granted some things probably are worse, more population crammed into an area that isn't getting any bigger is bound to cause problems.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I can see parents not having people they're comfortable having their kids stay with for periods of time. My example is one of my friends who has a baby (almost a year old.) She just moved to the town she lives in, knows no one really (stay at home mother), and her husband works a lot. For the time being, she has no one to care for her child. She is afraid of hiring a sitter because of the stories about abusive sitters. I can't blame her.

I don't know if things are worse now than they were, but you can't change the past but you can prevent things in the future. For now, this is her prevention strategy.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I can see parents not having people they're comfortable having their kids stay with for periods of time. My example is one of my friends who has a baby (almost a year old.) She just moved to the town she lives in, knows no one really (stay at home mother), and her husband works a lot. For the time being, she has no one to care for her child. She is afraid of hiring a sitter because of the stories about abusive sitters. I can't blame her. I don't know if things are worse now than they were, but you can't change the past but you can prevent things in the future. For now, this is her prevention strategy.

I totally agree! Nothing is worse then having to leave your child with someone you don't really know! When I was prego I was on dissability so I watched alot of talk shows. I seen several topics about nannies doing bad things to the kids when they were in their care and I got so terrified that I cried everytime in fear that someone would do that to my child. Unfortunatly when my daughter was 4 months old I have to go back to work and the hardest thing I had to do was leave her with a sitter but luckly my sister decided to watch her. She did until my daughter was about a year old then I had to go out and find another sitter and thank god I found a good one. It's still hard leaving my daughter whenver I go out, I make sure it's someone that we know and not just anybody. I to am also moving at the end of the year to another state where we wont really know anyone so it's gonna be hard trying to find the "RIGHT" person. I'm even considering running my own daycare this way I can watch my own kids and get paid to watch someone elses at the same time. Decisions, Decisions...