Interracial relationships.. whats ur opinion?

[glamdoll]

well the main question was what ur opinion was.
its true it shouldnt be a big deal but the reason also behind this was
that my best friend of years told me that yeah she likes my husband he is a nice guy and all but that she personally doesnt see herself dation out of our race.
She has NOTHING against me n my husband being together..
but she just feels like its not her thing.. so yeah
thats what i was asking..
thanks everyone for ur response!!
its true.. this really is a hot button to many many people!

 

[Deirdre]

I find it shocking that people still feel mixing the races is anything buy ordinary! Is it like this all over the US? I wonder if it's like this in Canada?

I had a Japanese boyfriend and a Vietnamese boyfriend when I was younger (not at the same time

) and never once did I hear any comments, or suffer any racist stares (I look European). I've had many mixed race friend/couples, too, and never heard anything negative, or saw anything negative either. But, I live in a small community on the West Coast, so maybe people are more relaxed, and not in rigid social structures?

I know I had a crush on an Indian guy in college, and he really liked me too. We had a strong physical attraction, but I wasn't allowed to phone his house in case his mom answered. I had to dump him, because I can't sneak around with someone, I don't care what the reason. There was certainly no future there - but that is the closest I've come to discrimination based on love interest.

I really think people have to view people who can express their love for each other as those who are taking a leadership role. If everyone was about love, instead of judging, one upmanship, and trying to take all the marbles, things would work out a hell of a lot better. And before too long, we'd all be the same color, too - and then maybe we could get on with advancing the Human Race, and forget the rest of this garbage.*


*Disclaimer - I love culture, and it ought to be celebrated, and I'm not dismissing it with my comments. I am dismissing exclusionary attitudes based on race, however.

 

[sharyn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amoona I don't see anything wrong with it, but I honestly probably wouldn't do it. I'm way too involved in my culture to be with someone who doesn't share the same culture as me. I've never been with someone who isn't Arab and I will never be with someone who isn't Arab. My culture shapes a lot of my life: politicial views, social life, morals, ideals ... all that stuff.

I totaly agree!

Ok, I'm not arab, I'm the causcasian stereotype, you know, tall, platinum blonde etc... but I agree!

I love my culture and I live my culture. Its my lifestyle. and what I expect from a partner is to share my lifestyle. It would be hard for someone who isnt my race.
And I am fine with interracial relationships, as long as its not like... uum, you know, the people who "order" or "buy" a partner (mostly a girl) from other countries/with a different race... thats not okay. I dont know a proper english word for that but you know what I mean!

 

[amoona]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharyn I love my culture and I live my culture. Its my lifestyle. and what I expect from a partner is to share my lifestyle. It would be hard for someone who isnt my race.

Yep you pretty much nailed it on the head for me. To each his own ... I'd never look down on ne1 for the choices they make as far as who they'd like to be with but it's not really something I could do.

I'm Arab and I'm Palestinian ... my boyfriend is Iraqi so we share the same culture which really makes it soooo easy haha. IDK why, maybe not all cultures are like that but for us it is.

The big problem though .... interfaith relationships! I'm Muslim and he's Christian ... that's gonna be fun to tell the family. We've been together for 3 years and it's not a problem to us (I already called dibs on my children's religion haha) but it'll cause a problem for his parents and my extended family.

The way I see it, as long as you're not hurting anyone and you're happy ... DO IT!

 

[Beauty Mark]

I can definitely see how interfaith could cause issues, particularly if you and you family are into a different one than your SO.

The interracial dating is still an issue for many people, even young (20somethings). Last night, my friend of a friend (Indian, grew up in NJ in a fairly mixed area) made a comment about a black guy dancing with a white girl. Something along the lines of disappointment that the only black guy in the club was dancing with a white girl. It's strange, too, because she sees nothing wrong with her or any of us interracially dating (mostly Asian, East or South) and at one point was on a quest to date as many different ethnicities as possible.

:/ I don't know why that prejudice is still alive, considering she has dated interracially and is okay with us doing it, not to mention growing up in an area that it is acceptable. I just wanted people to know it is still happening and isn't just like an abstract thought.

 

[MACHOMULA]

I think the mixing of races is a beautiful thing. I am caucasian (NC15!!!!) married to a beautiful Hispanic man. I would not change that for the world. It has certainly caused some occasional challenges. His Mexican traditions and my American ones don't always mix so well, but we have met in the middle and have created/are creating an incredible life and legacy together. I guess we get looks, but I don't even notice. Maybe it would mean more to me if I wasn't sure that we are living and loving like some people only dream to.

 

[LisaR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YvetteJeannine You're always going to run into ignorant, rotten people that will have something to say about virtually anything... I am of the opinion that if you love someone, what does anything such as skin color matter? At the end of the day, when you go home and snuggle with each other, what race you are seems mighty trivial. (I also feel that way about same-sex partnerships/marriage). When you come down to it at the end, people are just people...sure there are different cultures, and ways of doing things, but whether you are black/white/Latino/Asian/Native American we all have a heart and soul...If someone else is so closed-minded or too rotten of a human being that they want to make others feel bad, then their opinion doesn't count anyway! The most important thing is being happy...and if you're happy together, then good for you; 'cause most of the people that have something nasty to say AREN'T happy...and they never will be...that's why they judge; to make themselves feel superior. You're lucky if you've found happiness with a person...even if they are a different skin color than you...Not many people DO find happiness...If you have, then congratulate yourself!

Amen! The only other thing I can add to this wonderful post is that yes, there can be cultural obstacles but if the couple truly love one another and are aware of and firmly committed to getting over the hurdles together then skin color really becomes a non-issue. It's still hard for me to imagine in this day and age that there's such a ruckus over inter-racial or same sex relationships. What a shame.

 

[little teaser]

i agree with lisaR I didnt really think its that big of a deal this day and age, i mean everyone is mixed up now adays to me its the norm.

 

[Beachgrl07]

I'm sure most people have said this already but if it's love then it's love. I am east indian/irish and my dh is native american/irish so we're not exactly the same race either.

 

[jucarol]

I am from Brazil, daugher and grandchild of italy and portuguese descendat ppl. But most brazilians (up to 60%) are black or (i don't know how to say it in english...kinda black) people, but it is very common to see interacial couples here, simply because it is impossible to avoid that. Just for the record, brazil was one of the most commom destination of people from all over the world last century. For instance, in century XIX almost 4 millions italians landed here lookong for job, because there was so much poverty in italy. After second war, many japanese came too (there are as many japanese in brazil as there are in japan i guess). So...lots of people from different races, all of them absolutely gorgeous.

 

[jucarol]

I'm from Brazil, daugher and grandchild of italy and portuguese descendat ppl. Most brazilians (up to 60%) are black or (i don't know how to say it in english...kinda black) people, so it'is very common to see interacial couples here. Just for the record, Brazil was one of the most commom destination of people from all over the world last century. For instance, in century XIX almost 4 millions italians landed here lookong for job, because there was so much poverty in italy. After second war, many japanese came too (there are as many japanese in brazil as there are in japan i guess). So...lots of people from different races, all of them absolutely gorgeous.
I have a crush on latinos and libaneses one, like mexican actor Jaime Camil, but my family is a little racist.

 

[macslut]

Race is a socially constructed idea. I personally believe it is so that people don't have to think too hard. I don't buy into the idea of "white" and "black". It is too simplistic and, seriously, we need to get rid of those terms in our society. I am the socially constructed version of white (brown hair and blue eyes even). Most people can't guess that I am also part Native American...not enough to get a scholarship though

I know girls who only date dark skinned men. When asked why, they give a variety of reasons from toughness to bigger in certain areas (isn't that a stereotype). When asked if that is racist, they say no. Well why not? Because....and then they think about it.

Basically date whom ever you want. I sure have. Across the spectrum. Do it for love and not for the rather bizarre reasons that some have listed here. Oh wow, just wow.

 

[mommamacgurl]

I think people should love who they want to love. I'm an african american nc45 chick and i love my "white boy" husband and our little girl. We moved to a community that is famous for ir relationships so no worries here. My daughter isn't the only biracial child at school so nobody is going to say anything to her but i've taught her that she's okay and if anyone has a problem with the fact that she's biracial it's THEIR problem and not hers.

 

[M.A.C*Attack]

I know this might stir up something but .......

I am White and Mexican But raised with all the mexican belifes so I personaly wouldnt date out or marry out of My races but seeing as i was raised with all mexican belifes I belived i should end up being with /marrying a mexican and white or mexican american man only because i was rasied that way and i wouldnt change it for nothing i have a great husband and hes the same race as I am...

I personaly have nothing against mixing races but i would never do it myself... but i think it has a lot to do with my family my mother always wanted me to marry a white man ,she has a saying and she never fails to let me know how she feels shes always teling me "this is a white mans world!'........mind you my mom is not the white one...lol... but my mom after 11 yrs with my husband has still very little love for him but we dont care because she never stayed with my father she ending up marrying a mexican man and had him raise my ass after she had me from a white man... so she has no room to talk ,she tries to justify it with well " hes a white skined ,blue eyes blond haird mexican" im like what f*&^%$G ever he raised me to the best of his abilites and hes proud of me and how i turned out and super happy i married a mexican american man and im sure my Real father would thank my step dad for raising me cuz i think i turned out ok ...lol

but like i said im not against it i just wouldnt do it but my little brother didnt marry a mexican woman niether did my older brother...... my little brothers wife is black and they have 2 of the most cutes babies in the world ok well my world..lol ... but sadly my mom doesnt talk to them she blames my sister in law for ruining my brothers life and my older brother is gay but has a daughters with 2 white women and a greek woman , yes when he was indenile/closet still at the time yet my mother seems to love him....... now my mom is playing the wait game with my little sister hopeing she marries a white man but i doubt it will happen and when she doesnt marry a white man my mom wont really talk to her like she hardly talks to me cuz im my moms eyes in you aint white you aint right for my kids and your a low life piece of s**T!....

sorry had to vent!.... i think my freaking mother is a hipocrit and ignorant but she is my mother and i have to respect her and her decisions like i do everyone elses...

so in closing My husband and I have explained to my daughter(shes 9) that when she gets older it will be ok with us if she likes a boy that isnt mexican because we dont want her to end up with a mexican just because i did...lol....we told her now because i was 9 when i told my mom i liked a boy that was black and she said i better not and if i did she would kick my butt so i think i stayed tramatized anyhow my daughter knows how we feel and we dont care who she likes or marries when she gets older as long as their friendship is true and if she gets married as long as their in love and sincerely do love eachother.

 

[glamdoll]

I too was raised mexican.. probably as mexican as it gets.. in Mexico (Acapulco).. and my grandmother, who I have never ever been close to, to begin with is the one who wanted us all to marry a white boy.
I am married to my husband who is biracial ( white and samoan)
but he looks dominantly white, so she was all happy that I brought
"the white boy home". I havent spoken to her since. SImply because she doesnot appreciate our relationship for what it is.. love.
not some kind of "catch the whiteboy" game or something..

SHe told all of our family in mexico that he was so good lookin and
only white, which he isnt but that got me really mad!

I have dated mexican boys in the past too, but the one that happens to have my heart is him. He is mexican, but I dont care what ever he was Id love him just as much.

I have ALL the mexican traditions trust me, and I hold them dear to my heart! but I know that love has no boundaries and do not have my mind closed to "just my race" because also from my personal experiences in the family mexicans are very "machista" and who ever tries to deny that.. hasnt met a real mexican.

but this is just my 2 cents and thanks to everyone for posting..

 

[M.A.C*Attack]

I know what you mean my dad that raised me since birth is from Durango and well yeah hes machista so he sucks...lol.. but i love him none the less

My husband is from cali too not raised but born..lol... but when his mom and dad seperated my mother in law took him to guanajuato (not sure if i spelled it right ) GTO Mexico anyways and he was raised over there I'm just glad he didnt become machista like other idiots from there and I have met plenty of them jerks!

Pero what can I say he spoils me and our 2 girls , he's one of the good ones...lol

I GUESS I GOT LUCKY!....Gracias a dios!

 

[Katja]

In retrospect, I realize I have been guilty of miscegenation my whole life. I have never dated anyone of the same race.

The thought of dating outside of your own race as morally wrong is an antiquated belief, IMO. Unfortunately, it's not for some.

 

[missvox]

Those girls are just jealous, you have someone who loves you. That is all that matters!

 

[KAIA]

I'm in a interracial relationship as well i'm latin but pretty mixed up like Jucarol said.. down in south america (where i'm coming from) are from white, to black to indigenous people and a looooot of japanese! and my boyfriend is from eastern europe (caucasian) .
Skin color is not a problem and never has been we like each other ... only some cultural differences but at this point (3 years of relationship) we are over it, we learned a lot from each other ... =) .
And yeah! there will be always really f***ed up people that will be staring at us they always do it... but is something you learn to live with. We are in 2007 and there still narrow minded people!

 

[KAIA]

OH OH! about "machista" well yeah sadly it happens everywhere... but LATIN men are labeled as machistas... i'm just gonna say that most of latin men i've met are like this.. and i'm talking about men from my own family too... =(