Virginity

[hhunt2]

I lost my virginity at 16 by a 24 yr old. I know thats considered "rape" due to the age issue but I said "yes" to him.

The bad thing was, I didn't really know the guy... I didn't even know his real name (only his nickname). I didn't know much of what I was doing, but of course he did. a friend recommended watching porn to up my game (aka: learn sex moves by watching sex... haha, I laugh when I see naked people).

I wish I was smarter back then... I would have waited.
But peer pressure got me. Ever since then I'm so scared of catching an STD. I get nightmares about it. Just think... you can sleep with only 1 person, but you might get an STD. It's so crazy.
My moto... No Glove, No Love.

 

[fashionette]

Ok, feel free to get mad or whatever but I really don't see the point of waiting until you're married. It's just sex, it won't kill you and I really don't think your god gives a crap about your sexlife. But sure, if you believe in heaven and hell...

All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with NOT being a virgin, and there's nothing wrong with being one either.

 

[macmistress]

Personal opinion really.

Stick to what YOU wanna do, forget what people think.

If you wanna go out and have sex then do so.

If you dont then simply dont lol.

I am 21 and I am still a virgin. I am pretty scared of it tbh. :|

 

[fashionette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxsgtigressxx hahaha I dont know if Im a "loose moraled girl" but am I the only one who doesnt view sex as such a big deal? Its only a big deal if you make it a big deal. For example, I lost my virginity at 16. And I had waited with the guy and I wanted it to be special and all that romantic comedy stuff lol. And then after we had sex, I did what probably a lot of people did after they had sex...I looked in the mirror weirdly enough to see if I seemed different...guess what! I didnt. I didnt feel different, I didnt look diffrent, etc. Sex is natural! I havent had a whole shit ton of partners...around 8 or 9 (maybe some people see that as a lot, I dont know) and some were great loves of mine, others were fun lustfilled adventures if you will LMAO. Ive had a one night stand, and it was great! I had so much fun, and we were completely mutual in the fact that neither of us were looking for anything more, etc. I dont regret one guy that I have slept with...I learned about guys, love, my body, etc. I think there is an awful misconception between a "slut" (ps I hate that word) and one who is fully in tune with themselves sexually? I'd like to think im great in bed...and if i am in fact great in bed...then THANK YOU to my trail of partners that got me here! Me and my bf have a great sex life! neither of us were virgins, nor did we expect each other to be. and I 100% agree that you should test drive the car before you buy it! Sexual attraction and sexual compatability are 2 of the components that lead to a fully satisfying relationship! (im not saying they are the only ones) As long as you are safe about it, understand fully what you are going to get out of it, and want to do it, sex is great! I definitely applaud all the virgins and I do not knock your values or beliefs at all, just personally I dont understand what the big deal is

ITA!!

 

[stacylynne]

I lost my virginity when I was 22. I was with him for 7 years after that & we are still friends. (he's my male best friend).

Losing your virginity is a personal choice. Just make sure you love the person you are with. You will always remember your 1st no matter what.

I'm very old fashioned, so I think the 1st time should be special. (even though it doesn't feel that way).

I'm not going to lie here, the 1st time does hurt.

Again, this is a personal decision for you & no one should talk you into something that you are not ready for.

 

[duckduck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stacylynne I'm not going to lie here, the 1st time does hurt.

Not necessarily! My first serious boyfriend and I had done everything under the sun before we had sex, and perhaps I am just lucky, but my first time was a blast! It was like fooling around, only more awesome

.

I really don't see losing one's virginity as much of a big deal. I think it is a lot less scary if you don't build up all sorts of hype and expectations around it. Then again, I'm not really into a lot of sentimental things that other couples/people are, so perhaps it is just in my personality to not find "the first time" or "having the V-card" very interesting.

 

[theblackqueen]

I'm most definitely not a virgin, it wasn't for me. My mom would always put emphasis on how it was very important to stay one for marriage and how she'd disown me if I ever had sex before marriage, I personally think marriage is a bit outdated but thats not the point.
I Officially lost my virginity when i was 18 to some guy who ended up being an asshole, but I don't really regret it...it got me started on a road to discovering lots of cool people and having lots of cool experiences.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I lost my virginity 2 days before my 17th birthday to my highschool sweetheart for the past 6 years. Do i regret it? no. Because I know it was the right decision, i was comfortable, i wasnt worried, and i was definately curious.

I read earlier some of the 17/18 year old readers who are afraid of getting pregnant, yes be afraid, very afraid, i was 17 when i got pregnant 18 when i gave birth, i was on birth control orthotricyclin-lo, and i took the pill for 8 months within the same hour everyday and i got pregnant. Life is definately different, a lot more stressful, and to be honest i dont really get to enjoy having her around because im always studying or helping with my boyfriends real estate career and shes now at school for more than half the day... i love my daugther, but enjoy atleast a good 7-10 years of freedom, years filled with boyfriends and makeup and friends, you dont need to be worrying about kids. But after years of struggling im in a stable relationship with a decent source of income and 3 more years until i get my pharmD degree! atlast!!

Most importantly.

1. First few times hurts actually, after that its smooth sailing

.

2. Be in love, talk and communicate with your partner.

3. FOREPLAY!!!

4. Be safe

5. Have fun

 

[kaliraksha]

So for the ladies that waited til marriage? How did that work out for you?

I really have to say that sexual compatibility is a huge issue to me. What if he likes it rough and kinky and I'm all about sweet love making? Or he wants to do it once a week and I want to do it every day? It doesn't entirely make sense to me that you have to really know your partner and his likes and dislikes before you get married but sex isn't one of those.

Especially if two people are virgins which is ideal if one person is waiting hopefully the other has as well- how do they know what they like?

I know you can work certain things out, but humans have sex for pleasure and it's not one of those things you can get from someone else if your husband doesn't satisfy (well in most relationships).

Before I had sex, I thought I was always going to want "sweet" love making and that's not true at all. I rarely want love making. Before he had sex, my fiance thought twice a month was good enough and that's not true for him either. These are things we learned after years of having sex with each other. Eventhough we had talked about sex before we had sex and thought we knew everything we could about each other in that department... pretty much everything we said to each other didn't hold up.

 

[Chic 2k6]

I thought i had posted here but looks like i hadnt. I was a proud member of the V club up until three weeks ago. I'm currently 18, so I held out til I was ready. Met a guy and felt so right with him so I chose to lose it to him. No regrets here

I seriously respect all of you ladies in this thread, holding the V card. Hope your first time will be great and memorable, mine was!

 

[KikiB]

Okay this is kinda embarassing to post...but I'm no longer a member of the V club...haha. I was always Ms. Wait-Til-Marriage, because it was the belief that I grew up with, and I thought that anything else was wrong. Then I take a long, hard look at myself and I realized that it is not right for everybody. Including myself.

Yes, I will probably regret not saving myself down the road, but I need to be able to make mistakes in life in order to learn. Not to mention the first guy who I ever hooked up with (not sex) ended up completely ripping my heart out, so that is more regrettable than me having sex. Yes, the lucky guy is not a boyfriend. But I've known him for several years and he's been wanting it for a good two or so...we've had a thing going for a long time.

 

[duckduck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KikiB Okay this is kinda embarassing to post...but I'm no longer a member of the V club...haha. I was always Ms. Wait-Til-Marriage, because it was the belief that I grew up with, and I thought that anything else was wrong. Then I take a long, hard look at myself and I realized that it is not right for everybody. Including myself. Yes, I will probably regret not saving myself down the road, but I need to be able to make mistakes in life in order to learn. Not to mention the first guy who I ever hooked up with (not sex) ended up completely ripping my heart out, so that is more regrettable than me having sex. Yes, the lucky guy is not a boyfriend. But I've known him for several years and he's been wanting it for a good two or so...we've had a thing going for a long time.

Aw, hon, its nothing to be ashamed of! A lot of us were raised to believe that sex was something that happened after marriage only, so at first it may feel wrong or bad to go against that, but as you well know, that is just not for everyone. I hope you don't end up regretting it - I hope you find that sex is a wonderful, pleasureful, loving act which enhances and deepens your relationships to come. I hope that you find someone who you are emotionally, intellectually, and sexually compatible with, you marry him, and over time you find that your sexual experiences deepen and strengthen your relationship. *Many Hugs* to you, and congrats for making the choice for yourself regardless of how other may feel about it.

 

[Lucky1288]

I waited til I was 18 to have sex for the first time. I just felt right with the guy I was with, and I'm still with him now. It did hurt the first couple of times, and I was a little scared because I've heard other peoples stories about how much it hurt for them. But I know I did the right thing for me and thats all that matters to me. Personally, I could never be the type to have a one night stand or anything like that, not because I think its wrong, but because I'm waaay too self concious. I actually enjoy sex a lot, and do like to try new things, but thats because Im comfortable with who I'm with, which is key. I respect both people who are free and open with sex and people who are waiting, because it is a personal decision, not one that should be influenced by friends or anyone else.

 

[iluffyew769769]

Quote:

Originally Posted by laguayaca I am a virgin 10 more months till I get married and I am so excited! I know yall are probably wondering how long we have been together... it will he 5 years on dec 10th. Any questions or comments pm me

Congratulations!! I hope your wedding (And wedding night

) are perfect!

 

[seonmi]

I am quite surprised knowing that people consider having sex after 16 is rare. I guess I was underestimating this issue. I lost mine when I was almost 18 and thought it was kinda early. But no regret at all because it was with my bf whom I've been with for 3 years and we're still going strong. One thing that I am proud of is we've been in a long distance relationship and I stay good to him. It is so darn hard, though so I try not to party or get drunk ... with guys, lol

 

[LMD84]

i lost my virginity when i was 18 to a guy who is now my husband. we'd been together about 3 months and it felt very right and luckily he was very caring and gentle. i'm pleased i waited for somebody who i actually cared about as many mates lost it at parties and stuff to people who they didn't really know, then i'd be the one who picks up the peices to cheer them up when the guys ignored them.

 

[PolyphonicLove]

Lost mine 7 months ago [by tomorrow, dont ask how I remember]. I'm glad to have waited til I was with a guy that not only truly loves me, but nurtures me emotionally and physically.

I hate my family's ignorance towards sex, though. They all pestered me about when I planned to have sex and if I've done it or not. When I was 14, my grandparents were talking about me, and pap said, "Its okay, she'll give it up to some white boy eventually." Yeah, son of a bitch thought I didn't hear him. It irritated me because they thought that just because they were slutty when they were younger [yes, they say this], that I would be, too. The only one in my family that bothered to give me REAL advice was mum, and she's the only one I've told. I told her last month [how that went about is actually hilarious], and she was actually happy - she adores Beau, and calls him her son in law. The next night, she handed me a bunch of condoms, including a vanilla one ["ITS FOR ORAL SEX!! You'll have to use it eventually!"]. LOL.

With that said, most of my friends have had sex, but always told me not to, and to preserve my innocence until I was ready. I'm lucky to have people like that in my life! They were actually kinda upset, because they wanted me to remain a virgin forever, haha.

 

[imperfectbeauty]

I waited till I was 17 to give up my V Card and im glad i gave it up to my then bf...my now fiance who i've been with for 3 years now.
I had one boyfriend before him but he was just with me for sex rather then a nice rounded relationship and im glad that i held out and didn't let him pressure me for the one month total that we were together. lollll!! he broke it off because i wouldn't give it up.
I actually believed in the whole no sex before marriage before i met my fiance. We talked about the possibility of it, fooled around after we met for the first time in person. lol. we'd met online and only talked online for a little over 3 months before we met in person. A few months after meeting in person and seeing each other pretty regularly and participating in heavy petting did we actually have sex for the first time. He was a virgin as well so i think that made it kind of interesting. lol. I can honestly say though that our relationship has been made stronger because we have a good relationship in bed as well and we've both definately grown together.

 

[Pixiya]

18 yrs old and still a virgin xD

 

[Floox]

Ive been with my guy for 4 years now. We were highschool sweethearts. We had sex after a year(each others firsts) and im glad we waited that long. I know were are meant to be, he is my best friend and i sincerely hope we get married one day.