Virginity

[CandiGirl21]

LMAO... I was commenting to yarayuki about how people judged her when they found out she was a virgin.

 

[NutMeg]

Fair enough. If I saw something that wasn't there, I apologize. That's the risk of the internet. Just be careful how you word things because the way you said it could have been interpreted to be very offensive to people who aren't virgins.

I guess it just pisses me off that there are so many divisions among people. Why does sexual experience matter at all? Why does it even come up between people who aren't either close friends or planning on being lovers? I consider my sexuality to be a journey, so why does it become a status thing, complete with labels, or a weapon used to hurt people? Why are some people made to feel like idiots for choosing to stay a virgin, or others like sluts for choosing to have sex? I think they way you feel about yourself, the way you live your life, and treat yourself and others is so much more important than virginity or lack thereof. Why can't we all just accept that we are all different people who make different choices?

/end rant

And thanks for putting up with that.

 

[CandiGirl21]

That's just my personality. I say what I feel. I speak my mind.So next time if it hurts your feelings ignore it.

 

[Heiaken]

I lost my virginity when I was 16 (a few months a way from 17) to my boyfriend. We've been together six years this december and lived together a little over three years.
We met in a internet chat room seven years ago, started writing emails, letters and eventually talking in phone. After a year or so we finally met, we lived in different cities at that time, and on Christmas holiday I travelled about 300km to spend a weekend with him. There was instant chemistry between us and on our first morning together we had sex and I lost my virginity and have no regrets about that.
I can't say that is was the most awesome experience in my live, I've had much better sex after that, but it went good. It hurt a bit and I didn't have an orgasm but the still all the excitement and the tingling feeling anticipating an orgarsm was wondefull.

I don't think there's a certain age or when you have to lose your virginity, when you feel ready and comfortable go for it.
And if you feel like waiting you can always have solo-sex (aka masturbating). I feel that it's very important to know yourself, what you feel comfortable with and what turns you on before you start having sex with a partner, you need to know your body and how it reacts to things in order to have good sex IMO.

Have to confess that I've never really understood the whole wating till marriage thing, that's not for me, but each in their own way. For me sex is a important part in a relationship (there are others too ofcourse) and I couldn't imagine being with someone, whom I love, respect and feel sexually attracted to, for years and not having a sexlife with them. That's not just me. Why torture yourself when you can have fun

And by this I don't mean that you have to sleep with every man that you meet, but sensible sexual behavior. One thing to bear in mind is that a bad sexlife can easily ruin a relationship.
Other thing that I don't understand is fear of getting pregnant. There are several effective contraseption techniques out there and when used right they work and the risk gets miniscule. Don't get the irrational fear get to you and affect your potentially wonderfull sexlife.

 

[Chikky]

As of last night, I am no longer a virgin.

I'm 29, and I always thought I would wait until marriage.

I'm still unsure of how I feel about it. Do I love who I lost it to? Absolutely. Does he love me? I think he loves me, though 'in love' might be different. It's a whole long, complicated thing. We have an odd sort of relationship that went from friends to more to together all the time without any official announcement or talk. (For about 6 or so years now. I've known him for about 12 or so *ahem*.) I'm sort of worried about this; it was my idea, I goaded him into doing it. Maybe he didn't really want to, with me. Maybe he'll not respect me as much now. I'm very worried.

But I was rather surprised. It wasn't what I expected. It didn't hurt at ALL. But it was nice, I suppose.

I guess I'm worried and I'm also thinking I should be happier. *shrugs* I'm a big worrier, so I can't tell if it's just that part of my nature or a true 'gut feeling'.

 

[PixieVM]

I just turned 23 and I’m still a virgin. No I’m not waiting until marriage. No I’m not waiting because of any religious reasons. Kudos to those who want to wait til marriage, I’m just not one of those girls. I have just simply not had sex. I’ve never really had a serious relationship and the most ive done is go to third base with a guy I knew for many years and only dated officially for a couple of months. He turned out to be a real jerk off, but I still have no regrets. I know that I want to wait until I find someone that I truly care about and see myself being with for quite a while. If they end up being my husband then great, if not oh well. I would consider myself a really sexual person who just hasn’t had sex. I have the same desires and sexual thoughts that “non-virgins” have. Sometimes I think I should just do it and get it over with because the truth is that I do face a lot of pressure, most of my friends lost it at 15 or 16, but then I think about it and it just wouldn’t feel right. However, I am not an overly romantic or sappy person and don’t want to lose it while laying on a bed of roses with Enya playing in the background. I hate that shit. Im just me and when the time is right then it’ll be right. I trust myself and know that I would make the right decision when the time comes.

 

[xsavagex]

I lost mine when i was a week away from being 17. He was... 20. We'd been together 2 months at the time, and we are fast approaching our 2 years together now. He's my first boyfriend, and i love him very much and i have no regrets.

I was glad that he wasn't a virgin when we first slept together coz i think that would have made it more uncomfortable for me.

But yeah, no regrets whatsoever.

 

[fillintheblank]

I lost my virginity when I was 13, I really wanted to get it over with. I always saw sex as just sex and never waited until I was in love to do it. I always cheated on boyfriends because sex was just sex and not emotional so I didn't see it as a big deal. I was like that up until less than a year ago actually. I thought hooking up wasn't a big deal but after cheating on my current bf I started hating the fact that I wasn't really picky when it came to the guys I gave myself to. I realized I was using sex to make me feel good and began to seek my identity in Jesus instead of sex and guys.

That was less than a year ago and I've been celibate since then! My boyfriend (of almost four years) and I completely stopped doing anything past holding hands and kissing on the cheek. I'm really proud to be saving myself completely for my husband!

 

[TIERAsta]

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19, which I think is pretty good! It was with someone I absolutely love and love to this day three years later

We were safe and responsible about it and I'm so proud of us!

We were each other's first, and that made it pretty special! And then he got his own apartment and we started going at like friggen jackrabbits for a while there

I think it's totally an individual thing, when it comes to when you feel ready, when your partner feels ready, and all that stuff.

I know some people who totally regret how they lost it, but keep in mind that while it is something that you will always remember, it isn't something that defines who you are.

 

[maclove1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CandiGirl21 I just thought that was funny! I too have people looking at me funny, only thing is they KNOW I'm a virgin before I even speak. I guess I have this goofy way about myself that people pick up on. Or, "maybe they are just whores and know when someone is "pure". "lol

oh shit

 

[Mabelle]

sry dble post

 

[Stephy171]

i lost my virginityy at a veryy VERYY young age... but i just have such a bad past... i was corrupted at a very young age.. no lie i do regret it cuz i was so stupid and it meant nothing at all... i always dreamed of loosing my virginty not necesserily being married just to someone i loved.. i dreamt of a fairytale momment hheehe... but im proud to say that i have only had 2 partners and now i am celibate... even thoughh i am VERYY tempted at times i want my relations to mean something!

 

[FiestyFemme]

This has been a very interesting thread.

I'm still a virgin at 23, and I'll be 24 in a couple of months. Honestly, not having sex is one of the things I'm most grateful for. Neither of the guys I've dated ended up being worth my time, so I know I would've regretted it if we'd had sex. I always thought I would wait until marriage, but now I'm not sure. If I was in a great relationship with someone who I truly loved and trusted (and vice versa), I don't know if I could hold out. I feel like I'm a late bloomer... definitely missed the raging hormones as a teenager, but now they're like whoa.

 

[kariii]

I lost my virginity when I was a freshman in HS, it was with this guy on and off for about 2 yrs.. I grew up raised muslim and DEFINITELY NO SEX TILL MARRIAGE mentality, for christ's sake you can't even have a relationship, most marriages are arranged maybe somehow in my own little world and how my brain works, I'm the only atheist in the family and believe in 'fuck it! do what makes you happy and what you believe in' . I don't lie, I don't steal, I don't hurt people but that's not because I'm religious but just b/c that's the person I want to be; a good person. I don't see the big deal in waiting till marriage to have sex. I know of at least two good girl friends of mine that waited until marriage and to this day always wonder what it's like to be with someone else and they have both come very close to cheating just because of that very little temptation.


I say....... Have sex with whoever the hell, you want.. Hell you catch a dude looking at you in a club, he turns you on.. grab him by the collar, go to a car, and do the 'dirty' haha actually that's the best sex ever. You don't have to deal with their emotional crap, you don't have to worry about pleasing them again or what they thought of you. You get what you want out of it, they get their shares and you move on.


OR have sex with someone you love; find out what the difference is. Caring, soft, comfortable, you can experiment a shit loat, etc and know that both kinds of sex are fun and you were missing out the whole time you were waiting... JUST MY OPINION THOUGH. no offense to anyone.

 

[olddcassettes]

<---- virgin til marriage!

 

[Mabelle]

I lost my virginity when i was 19 (i'm 23 now). I lost it to my current bf and my future husband. I wasn;t trying to wait for "the one", but it just worked out that way. I was just waiting for someone i felt comfortable enough with.I'm kinda of dorky, and awkward and a bit prudish, so i suppose the person i would feel comfortable with would be someone i'm madly in love with.
I must say i'm glad i waited to have sex, becasue it was THE most akward moment ever. I literally thought i was dying. Not to be Graphic, but i bled like a freakin pig. I swear, my hymen should have been used for nation defense.
I almost passed out in the bathroom. Anyway, like i said, i;m glad my first time was with my boyfriend.

 

[Mabelle]

oops! Double Post.

 

[luvsic]

I am a virgin, but I am not holding out for marriage. In fact, I've never gone past making out =P so when I do get to that point I'm kind of afraid I'm going to be clueless in terms of what to do haha. People are usually surprised when they find that out about me.

I do want to hold out, however, for someone special. There were a lot of times when I could have lost it to hook ups, or even just messed around, but I always made myself stop before I went too far because if I want to make sure I mess around with a guy (and that includes hjs, bjs, the works) I want to make sure I am comfortable with him. Plus there are still risks of STDs in the "everything but sex" category. It's part that, and part just really not knowing what to do. I've asked a lot, but of course asking is different from experiencing.

I am also really afraid of getting pregnant cause I'm not on the pill, so that's another deterring factor. I see nothing wrong with sex, but it's still kind of a closed door to me since I've never experienced anything extremely sexual. Ironically enough, my pledge class voted me "third most openly sexual" and "pledge class closet freak" because I talk and joke about it all the time though lol. This year I was second most likely to be on a shady porn site but that one is definitely a stretch

 

[AvantGardeDoll]

I lost my virginity to my husband (as he did to me), who was my first and only boyfriend ever. I was 14 and he was 17 when we met. We were able to "date" for a few months until my parents started picking him apart for little tiny reasons here and there until they grew to loath him (most of it because of cultural differences - We are Cuban, he was Argentinian and they refused to accept our differences such as taste in food and other stupidities). Eventually they separated us, threatening him and his family to stay away or else she'd call immigration. We were forced to see each other behind their backs for 2 and a half years. When my grandma was diagnosed with Cancer, she ended up living in our home and slowly started convincing my parents to let me see him again. They did and a year later, things became just as bad. I ended up having to leave my house (one of the most traumatizing experiences ever - it involved the cops because they actually attacked him) and so I went to live with him. The whole 3 and a half years we dated, we never had sex. Not because we were waiting until marriage, but simply because there was never a time or place. We wanted it to be nice and special. Even when I moved in with him this summer, we still didn't have sex until I was on birth control, which ended up being AFTER we eloped. So I technically lost my virginity after being married, even though we hadn't planned it that way.

I felt it was necessary to tell my story in summary to demonstrate that this is someone that went through heaven and hell with me and never left a doubt in my mind about his love for me.

 

[iio]

I lost mine when I was 13. I know so so young. In my middle school a lot of the girls were already taking birth control and having sex already and I was so curious about it. And I was boy crazy too!

My parents didnt really talk to me about sex and the pressures of having sex. So I didnt really have anyone to talk to me about it, besides my friends but they were already experiencing foreplay and some have had sex already. When I finally met my first bf in 8th grade we didnt do anything but kiss. But after 3 months of going out we had sex...we were eachother's first.

We were together until our sophmore year but I dont regret it. We were in a pretty serious relationship. I admire you girls who are still virgins! I know that when I have girls of my own I would want them to wait.