Talk to me.

[euphrosyne_rose]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella First, J, I have never said I don't understand where you are coming from. My problem is that all arguments are about saving the social aspect of the board. For God's sake, the entire board is a social center. Why in the world do the Colour Threads have to be the same? Please, I am begging you all, to think about how it feels for those WHO DO UTILIZE THE SITE FOR INFORMATION, to have to sift through 50 pages of chatter regarding dinner, fucking your husband for makeup, the breakup you are going through, why your jobs sucks, etc. I mean, really? What part of that belongs in a section that is supposed to be dedicated to product launches? Why is it so damn difficult to be open to change so that people other than the 15-20 who are involved in personal relationships and chatter can enjoy the site just as much as you all do? It is so selfish.

I do have to say that I can see the point of not wanting to sift through pages upon pages of chatter to get to what I'm actually there looking for. I might read a few pages here and there but I know eventually I'd get bored with it, but that's not say I don't think everyone is entertaining.

I usually go to the specific collection swatch threads to look at things and read the general info but I know there's no chatter allowed in those b/c I got a warning way back for it when I totally forgot there was no chatter allowed.

I guess I'm thinking that maybe for those that don't want all the extra chatter, they could go to the swatch thread?? But what information does the actual color collection thread have that the color collection swatch thread doesn't? It seems to me they are close to being the same other than the chatter allowance but tell me what I'm missing. I promise I'll pay closer attention because there are some collections I'd like to learn more about.

 

[..kels*]

I am 100% with Rbella on this one. Yes, there have always been cliques on Specktra.. but I don't remember them ever being this hostile.

Aside from that.. Thank you Janice for all of your hard work & dedication to the forum!

I can only imagine how exhausting this must be..

 

[..kels*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SakurasamaLover Now the forum didn't change but you did

The forum is always changing. I've noticed a huge change in the tone of Specktra since I joined. Of course it's inevitable, but it switches between a negative & positive tone based on who the most active members are at any given time. Negative people = negative forum.

 

[Vixxan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ..kels* I am 100% with Rbella on this one. Yes, there have always been cliques on Specktra.. but I don't remember them ever being this hostile.

Me too.

I don't know about cliques it's more like that gang from Lord of the Flies if ask me. It's obvious and it's sad.

 

[..kels*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella Thank you. Thank you both so much.

Just stating my opinion.

It's ignorant for anyone to think that you are alone in your feelings. I think most members are afraid to speak up for fear of being attacked by what we are now calling the "gang"?

 

[purrtykitty]

It makes me sad that people are feeling that way. I really hope this can all get sorted out soon. If anything, maybe those of us that have been following this thread can make a more conscious effort to include everyone. Sorry I don't have anything intelligent or esoteric to say to resolve this...

 

[Vixxan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ..kels* Just stating my opinion. It's ignorant for anyone to think that you are alone in your feelings. I think most members are afraid to speak up for fear of being attacked by what we are now calling the "gang"? (Excellent choice of words, if you ask me..)

That's exactly what's happening people are afraid to speak up. I know of other members that have complained to me about the brutal treatment that they have received here.

 

[nunu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vixxan That's exactly what's happening people are afraid to speak up. I know of other members that have complained to me about the brutal treatment that they have received here.

I'm sorry, i must've missed this? I have seen people being rude to others but only a few times.

This issue really concerns me as an member of this forum.

 

[Willa]

Danelle. I am very sad you took it personnal
Never EVER I pointed you

 

[capmorlovesmac]

I am really concerned about how now frequent posters are called a gang or are compared to a gang that becomes savage in a movie now. When did the attacking start and has become appropriate?

Personally I have never been attacked by anyone since I joined Specktra and I also have never seen anything that I would call brutal.

It actually shocks me seeing this thread becoming the first thread I have ever read on Specktra that I would call brutal.

 

[rbella]

^^^Wow. Really? Then you must not visit chatter or deep thoughts often. Now I feel like you are taking it personal. I think the comment was made because it is apparent to others, besides myself, that I am being quite "ganged up" on in this conversation. And, no, not necessarily by you or any one long-standing member.

The comments regarding my makeup addiction, assuming that I'm "angry" or there is "something wrong with me" and not ever fully understanding that there might actually be a problem with the board, not me, is part of the "ganging up" on me. JMO. I can't speak for the others, I'm not 100% sure that is what they meant.

 

[..kels*]

Sorry if I offended anyone for referring to it as a "gang". I was merely quoting from an earlier post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SakurasamaLover Some things you were doing here before made that you were in the 'gang'

For those not involved with the "frequent posters", it can definitely feel like a gang at times. It only becomes inappropriate when these "frequent posters" gang up on other members who state an opposing opinion.

 

[nunu]

Ok,

I think that there are some issues that need to be resolved here. The key issues were highlighted several times on this thread.
So, I guess we can now move on and focus on finding solutions for these issues.

Feel free to pm me or any of the moderators/advisors about anything regarding this thread if you don't feel comfortable posting it on here.

 

[Vixxan]

Like I said in my original post here I spend most of my time in the recycle bin and that's because the tone and the atmosphere on here can be so ugly. I have seen post where people have responded to post and it appears that their only intentions were to be mean. I have seen post where I just felt sorry for the person that bothered to ask a legitimate question because the gangs all here and now you under full assault just for trying to participate.

This kind of behavior takes away from the spirit of this forum. If you get attacked enough or you have to constantly fight to participate then you just stop participating. If I tell you that I thought this particular lipstick sucked and you then attack me then I’m not going to state my opinion anymore. If I ask a question and several people respond for the sole purpose of attacking me then I’m not going to ask questions.

When I originally came here I did try to participate in the forum but I don't like fighting so I just ask an occasional question and buy some stuff and move on. Like any human if I feel attacked I attack back and it just goes on and on and that solves nothing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella In my opinion, and keep in mind, it is my opinion, I don't think you really have gained any right to complain about the site's technical issues unless you have supported it. JMO.

It’s hard to get people to financially support something but it’s even harder when that something appears to be negative. I would never support a place where people are being bashed for stating their opinion about lipstick, blush, or just asking questions. I’m sorry but I’m not paying for that.

This is my opinion based on what I have witnessed here. I am not going to get into an argument with anyone over it and I am not willing to allow anyone to attempt to bully me for stating my opinion.


To Janice:

I wish that I could tell you that if you implemented this rule or that rule and changed this and did something with that problem that you would fix everything. The truth of the matter is that you can not change the heart of people no matter what rule you add or change. Ugly people have to change themselves for things to change and get better.

 

[Vixxan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella ^^^Wow. Really? Then you must not visit chatter or deep thoughts often. Now I feel like you are taking it personal. I think the comment was made because it is apparent to others, besides myself, that I am being quite "ganged up" on in this conversation. And, no, not necessarily by you or any one long-standing member. The comments regarding my makeup addiction, assuming that I'm "angry" or there is "something wrong with me" and not ever fully understanding that there might actually be a problem with the board, not me, is part of the "ganging up" on me. JMO. I can't speak for the others, I'm not 100% sure that is what they meant.

Know when to fold.

I think you have done a good job of trying to shed light on what’s going on here. I don’t think there is anymore that you can do to help this situation. I read this entire post and it’s clear to me and I think it’s as clear as it’s going to get. I think if you continue to post then you are just going to continue to keep the obvious going. I think it’s time to move on.

Thank You

 

[SakurasamaLover]

My point is not that I don't see what you see, it's just the way you see it.
People do the stuff you are saying... but people (especially groups) will remain people. There is always gangs and favorites and stuff like that, at any level of society.
I agree that people should behave respectfully and be nice and that conflicts shouldn't exist, but it does. And not much can be done about it.
You are speaking up for people that feel they aren't enough welcome, and it's nice of you, but the fact is; it wont solve the problem, Specktra is already more friendly then any forum I saw out there. Sometimes it's up to people to make more efforts, to read the mood of place to get to know people and interact with them. You cannot go and be the defender of all people who got social insecurities out there.
A forum can be moderated but you cannot refrain people from being people. It would be foolish from anyone out there to promise a place where everyone one can be nice with each other and accepted, such a place doesn't exist. Personally I'm here almost daily or at least weekly since Fafi and I didn't saw a change of mood until very recently and the issue as already been fixed.

 

[Tashona Helena]

I can't really fault anyone. It's so hard to express yourself on the internet some, people can read things differently. I would say, "maybe we should think before we type!!" like a mom but some people are just sarcastic and express themselves in a certain way and I just don't think that's going to change. I just think maybe we can navigate away and see if something bothers us later, then maybe contact the person personally via PM and see if it was meant that way then just jump into the discussion to diffuse it?

I'm really confused about the enabling thing. I've had problems on and off with my allergies so I couldn't really buy a lot of things that I used to because I've been afraid they're gonna pile up and sit around, but as I'm getting better I'm slowly getting back into the game and reading more and I don't see people as that way. If I did I would be like, OK, she's passionate about it let's move on. I work in retail and I deal with people being pushy and disagreeing about products but I say, ok, she has her opinion, let's move on. Bottom line we're all different. I just find it weird people are being offended by people being themselves? I don't see how it's going to change. Everyone has bad days as well, I really, really really agree with the person who said our personal situations have changed, which is probably making this whole fuss.

I do the same thing IRL tho, like when someone says they don't like UGGs or they don't wear makeup I'm like, "Girl you are out of your mind!!", Girl, lets go making shopping I will change you, you've gotta be crazy!!" It's all fun tho, I would hope they're thinking, "This b) is crazy, I'm going to do me." if they don't want to like what I like. Cause that's what i"m thinking when someone tries to get me to like what I shouldn't.

I'm just trying to be silly lol people relax, it's all good.

At least everything is out here on the table now and it's not building up. That's when the worse occurs, when it's building up inside.

 

[MrsMay]

Hi, I just wanted to poke my head in here and acknowledge that I have felt the tone of Specktra change in the last year or so, which has resulted in myself not posting as much in the colour collections threads as I used to and mainly sticking with the Aussie sub-forum as this seems to be un-affected and has a different tone to the colour collections threads (in my personal opinion).

Janice - I will sit down and have a good think to try and pinpoint what has caused me to migrate away from the colour collections threads, as I'm not sure I can pinpoint the exact cause at this point in time. I do know that I'm not sure I feel comfortable posting in there any longer (which is probably silly) although I do read them a fair bit, I just dont want to post incase I ask something that has been asked before, or incase I post some info that has been posted before. As I said, I will have a proper think about this and send you a PM when I have pinpointed some areas.

I do still try and contribute as much as I can, especially in the Aussie sub-forums which are fantastic

 

[Susanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella There are no ambiguities. It is cut and dry: 1.) People feel the Colour Threads are clogged up with personal chatter. "People", not just me. 2.) There are cliques that make others feel uncomfortable in the Colour Threads. Once again, "People" not just me. 3.) People feel the threads are ridiculously overboard with spastic enabling. Once again, "People", not just me. 4.) People feel the utilization of the "thanks" button is overused. "People", not just me. 5.) People are unhappy when they ask a question and get bitched out. "People" not just me.

Yes, "people" - but not everyone here I guess?
I know a lot who are still happy here, so am I.

Why is there not a word about those members here who try to answer all the questions in the discussion threads? Who post links, swatches, comparisons, give advices - every day, for everyone?

We are in a democracy, aren't we? Everyone should use the thanks button as often as their want - or do not want?

Spastic enabling? Sorry, I am a teacher for mentally and physically handicapped children. Spastic is not a word that should be used here. There are more important things in life where people have a spastic
(Sorry, Danelle, this is not against you! But I can't stand people using this word in such a way).

Again, everyone is open to join us here! It is up to everyone to become a part of it. I don't like the word "cliques". It is specktra - get to know us here!

 

[Susanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunu I'm sorry, i must've missed this? I have seen people being rude to others but only a few times. This issue really concerns me as an member of this forum.

I am in the discussion threads every day. I answer all the questions as best as I can, so do other members.
We are not all rude here! Come on!